The Damn Blank Canvas
It was a steamy August afternoon. I was in the Bay of Kotor, Montenegro, floating in deep Azul water with mountains all around.
I was in awe of the beauty and the tranquility of my surroundings.
But my insides were churning.
My mind reached back to months earlier when my therapist noted that I now have a blank canvas on which to create my new life.
The anger I felt surprised me. And the angst.
I hated that canvas immediately.
It was white.
Blank.
I had no idea what to do with it. No idea where to start. And for that matter, I didn’t want to start over.
I began to refer to it as “the damn blank canvas.”
It frustrated me.
It scared me.
It made me feel lost.
And of course, that stark white canvas inserted itself into my serene surroundings that day, taunting me with all that I didn’t know. I immediately felt my heart pound. Here I was, in paradise, and that damn blank canvas was back.
I focused on my breath and desperately listened for wisdom to speak. A calm voice, deep inside, simply said:
“What if you just choose one color and start?”
What if you choose a brush and just begin? What if you let curiosity lead? What if you pick the color you like best, and simply start there? What if it doesn’t matter if you change your mind or need to change colors or paint over it all? All those things will only add texture and richness.
You don’t need to know what the picture looks like before you begin.”
This was one of the simplest, most profound epiphanies I’ve experienced.
That day, in that water, I gave myself permission to be curious. To learn more about the things that interest me—without having to create an entire life or business plan around it. To start with a single color, a simple interest, a basic idea, and see if it leads to another.
That process. That willingness to make friends with that damn canvas led to the recent kickoff of my exclusive Brave Journey program. Today that canvas is nowhere near finished, I know that.
But it does have the faces and hopes and dreams of women on it. It’s not blank anymore. It’s being filled, one color, one brush stroke at a time. And I am #grateful. ✨❤️