Check out the slide deck from my presentation:

And, check out the Flickr feed to see what you missed!

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There’s been a flurry of media attention in the last few months surrounding the release of Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In, followed by a fabulous opinion piece in The NY Times and then an interview with former Lehman Brothers CFO Erin Callan on “Rock Center with Brian Williams.”

As a result,  several of my friends, knowing my interest in leadership, have asked me what I think about all of it.

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So I finally sat down to pen a few thoughts based on my own experiences, as well as those of so many women I know.

Rather than debating the controversial question for many about whether or not women should lean in (I think both Callan and Sandberg offer great points, but in the end, it’s an individual choice and no one can tell you which to choose), I’d like to focus on something that specifically struck a cord with me.

On NPR’s Morning Edition, Sandberg talked about stereotype threat. She explained that the more we’re aware of the stereotypes out there for women, the more we act in accordance with them.

For example, if stereotypically, we believe girls won’t be or aren’t supposed to be good at math, then they usually aren’t.

But it’s more than a question of who’s good at math.

I’ve watched this phenomena happen over and over again in the workplace. Having spent a lot of my career working at faith-based organizations, I came face-to-face often with a particular stereotype that says women should be soft-spoken, demure and not challenge authority. Especially when the authority is a man.

Women who ask questions, women who speak up, women who don’t fit the mold, and women who think critically are often perceived to be difficult. Even trouble.

And it makes us all act differently. I remember being surprised when I began to notice it myself. I was so aware of the expectations at my workplace for how a woman should act, that I began to fulfill those expectations in a lot of ways that were not true to who I was.

I began to talk less in certain meetings. I often didn’t feel at liberty to ask hard questions. I soft-pedaled who I really was. And I often found myself deferring to the men in the room because I felt it was the expectation for a young woman in my environment to do so in order to be liked.

When I began to notice my actions, I reflected on how I was raised in order to figure out where it was coming from. The crazy thing is I was never taught that a woman should act differently around a man. And I certainly wasn’t told that men had better answers than women, or that women should defer to them. My mom is an extremely strong woman, and she certainly didn’t model that for me. So where was it coming from?

When Sandberg talked about stereotype threat, a light bulb flickered on. I now believe that’s probably the answer.

So what can we do about it?

I think one way to counteract the tendency for us to adapt to stereotypes in our own particular work cultures is for young women to begin to see examples of other women who don’t bend to those stereotypes. For more seasoned women leaders to begin modeling what it means to lead in full confidence of their talents.

When I think back to my own experiences, I know that if I had seen even one other woman leader acting confidently in the room, I would have felt more at liberty be myself. Unfortunately, most of the time I didn’t. And regrettably, I often wasn’t modeling it for anyone either.

As women, we need to begin carrying ourselves with confidence and making choices unencumbered by gender. And we must choose to support other women in this same way, especially those who are younger than us.

It’s not just up to the women. MEN have a role, too.

Let’s go back to some of those meetings I discussed earlier.

I wonder what they would have been like if the men in the room had expected me to be exactly who I was. If they had expected that I’d bring my A-game, complete with confidence (and my questions!) to the table in order to help solve problems as a team. And finally, what if they had expected every other man in the room to act the same way? What a different meeting that would have been. (Note: a big shout-out and thank you to those men who already do this!)
And so, I believe the challenge isn’t just for women. Men play a crucial role as well. Sandberg said, “Companies that use the full talents of everyone — those companies do better.”

Together, by bringing the FULL talents of both men and women to the table, I believe we can create better solutions for our organizations. And better work environments for us all.

So for my friends out there who solicited my thoughts about Lean In, this is it: 

The real question for me

isn’t whether or not you lean in.

It’s who are you when you do?

photo credits: NAVFAC & Victor 1558

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And after years of nonstop going, going, going, I decided to celebrate with stopping.

I know some people thought I was crazy. They looked at me funny when I told them my plans. But I didn’t want a party. Or a big celebration. I just wanted to stop.

So I rented a condo on Lake Michigan for the weekend – and I sheepishly told my husband he wasn’t invited – at least for the first part of the weekend. I think he understood.

“You actually become more alive.

This is what stopping can do.

There is nothing passive about it.

And when you decide to go, it’s a different kind of

going because you ‘stopped.’

The stopping actually makes the going more vivid, richer, more textured.

It helps keep all the things we worry about

and feel inadequate about in perspective.”

- Susan Komnives, Leadership for a Better World

Then, for the first time that I can really remember, I stopped.

Completely. 

Just like Komnives said in her book. No Internet. No cell coverage (thanks to my spotty AT&T service). Just me and a few crashing waves from the lakeshore.

Instead, I spent time reading and looking at entries from the last few years of my journal. I brainstormed. I reflected on the highlights of my life. I remembered and thanked God for those he’s put along my path to encourage and teach me. And I dreamed of what my future could hold.

By this simple act of stopping, I learned a couple of things:

The view of Lake Michigan from my condo.

1- There is power in remembering.

I recall as a kid  hearing Bible stories in which God asked his people to remember. He even asked them to sometimes create a monument to commemorate the event. I know I thought that seemed strange at the time. But now I get it. By remembering, we begin to recall times and places where God met us in an awesome way. By remembering, we can now go back and view those individual brush strokes in our lives and see how they have come together to paint an amazing picture. And that is powerful.

2-  Never stop dreaming.

For a long time, I felt I was too busy to dream. And I think maybe a part of me was also afraid to do too much of it because I might be disappointed with the outcome. I had a hectic job, and I felt like I was a hamster running nonstop on a wheel. But I had no idea how to get off of it. Somehow I thought that was part of the journey to becoming “successful” in life. But it was a lie. The reality is that we need to cultivate and listen to our dreams. They point us to our passions, and they give us glimpses of who God made us to be. And my opinion is that we need to begin brushing them aside less and embracing them more. Even if it’s terrifying.

So this year, to celebrate my 40th birthday, I stopped.

And by simply doing that, I somehow found it easier to celebrate and gain perspective by remembering my first 40 years and dreaming big about how to spend my next 40.

And now, like Komnives says, the “going” really is all the more vivid, richer and more textured.

It’s like seeing the world with completely new eyes.

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Easier to navigate. More interesting graphics. Better integration of video and social media. A better user experience.

And these are all really important things.

But what I don’t usually hear a lot about initially is WHAT or HOW they plan to communicate their brand story on that same website.  I don’t often hear questions like:

What sort of things are important to communicate to my audience? Is what I’m currently communicating effective? What information are they really looking for, and what’s the best way to share it with them?

These are important questions because I believe the power of our words – including how we talk to people – can never be underestimated.  That’s why I love this short video so much. It illustrates exactly what I’m thinking in under 3 minutes. Check it out:

The Power of Words

So if we know communication can be such a powerful tool, why do we wait until last to talk about content for our new websites? Why isn’t it front and center during our web redesign and strategy conversations?

Here are five questions that I think will help any organization think strategically about their next website redesign and how they can successfully communicate with and engage their audience.

1. Who are you talking to? Think about your website’s primary, and even secondary, audiences. What do they want to know and how do they like to be communicated with? What are their interests and needs? How comfortable are they with technology? Answering all of these questions up front will not only help direct your brand voice and key messaging for your site; it should also drive your choices in terms of navigation and the content you choose to highlight.

2. How does your audience prefer to consume content? Take a look at your target audience and learn how (and where) they are consuming content. Do they love to watch videos? Are they avid blog readers? How much do they use social media – and which platforms are most popular with them? And a final key question: are they frequently using smartphones or tablets? Answering these questions will help direct the development of your site as well as the kind of content you choose to create for it.

3. How can you become a helpful resource in their lives/business? Stop thinking about your website as an online brochure. Instead, start thinking about how it can be a helpful resource to your audience. What can you offer that will in some way help make their lives easier? For example, if you sell pet shampoo, is there information you can provide to help a visitor to your site learn how to better care for his/her pet? Can you help them with grooming tips? Think about the pain points that pet owners have and then consider how you can fill it with helpful content. This will set you up as an expert in their eyes and when they decide to buy their next bottle of shampoo (or insert your own product or service), they’re likely to consider you.

4. How can design and content work together to create a beautiful and meaningful conversation between you and your audience? Too often the design and content teams on a web project don’t work together. One group is creating amazing designs while the other is planning for how and what to communicate. Then, when they come together, they’re on separate pages. Or, we often create the design first with filler “loren ipsum” content (who doesn’t want to see concepts for a great new version of their site?) – but we also don’t even THINK about the actual content until we’ve already approved and spent hours on the design. The result is a great design, but one that might not be conducive to what and how you want to communicate. My advice? Get your designer(s) and writer(s) in the same room – early. Working together will result in a beautiful site AND one that includes engaging content that facilitates meaningful conversation with your audience that leads to action (and sales).

5. What’s your plan for creating – and maintaining – these conversations via your content? You’ve spent hours planning for and approving designs. And even more hours crafting your content, writing copy, and maybe even creating videos. Your site is ready to go – and it looks amazing! But do you have a plan moving forward? If you’ve integrated social media, a blog and/or videos into your website, do you have a plan for keeping this content fresh? Is anyone at your company tasked with ongoing content creation for your new site? It’s amazing how quickly a new website can become out of date. So please, please, please. Don’t let all of your work go to waste. Think beyond the launch of your website to maintaining it as well.

What about you?
I’d love to hear your thoughts. What has been your experience with website redesigns? Do you agree with my 5 questions? Would you add any to my list?

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I’ve recently been reading a book titled Thriving in Leadership: Strategies for Making a Difference in Christian Higher Education. Although I no longer work for a university, I spent years doing so and loved (almost!) every bit of that journey. Regardless of the context, though, I’m finding this book to be inspiring with nugget after nugget of wisdom from seasoned leaders. And their advice is applicable to anyone — whether you work in higher education or in business.

I’m particularly inspired to write this morning as I think about Thanksgiving and all the things for which I’m grateful. So I find myself in front of my computer crafting this blog because I know that one of the things I’m so very thankful for is the role that one person, one comment, one action or even one chapter in a book has often played in my own life

Thriving in Leadership’s editor, Karen Longman, referenced in the introduction a quote from Roberta Hestenes, former president of Eastern University: “Leadership is the ability to make a difference through influencing others.”

And I think we’ve all seen this play out in our lives.

The difference one person makes.

I recently watched an interview with Will.i.am from The Black Eyed Peas in which he told Katie Couric about a teacher who had made a difference in his life. As he teared up, he noted that just one person can help change the trajectory of another person’s life. And that teacher helped change his.

It was a poignant moment. But just like Wil.i.am, I’m betting that you’ve had someone in your life do the same for you. Someone whose encouragement gave you the confidence to take a chance. Someone who imparted wisdom to you that you’ve never forgotten. Or someone who simply modeled leadership for you in a positive way you hadn’t experienced before.

Closer to home.

My story isn’t any different. While working at a university several years ago, a woman named Chris was my boss. What Chris didn’t know was that as an introvert and a woman, I had always struggled with the term “leader.” This was probably because many people associate leadership with someone who has a take charge, outgoing, “type A” kind-of-attitude. Someone who just makes things happen (sometimes regardless of what or who gets in the way). And I actually think our society perpetuates that to its detriment (which is a topic for another blog). But regardless, this stereotype loomed large in my mind.

But Chris was different. She was calm and cool, even somewhat soft-spoken. She wasn’t loud and didn’t purposefully draw attention to herself. But she had steel in her eyes. And she was smart. And tough. She expected excellence. And I learned never to go into a meeting with her unprepared. But I also knew that behind those eyes of steel was a woman who cared about  people and who always wanted to do the right thing as a leader.

She didn’t know it at the time, but I watched her carefully. I watched the hard-earned respect she had gained as the only high-ranking woman on campus. I listened as others talked about her with admiration, respect and confidence. She was the first woman leader I can remember knowing who I wanted to emulate.

Chris was only at the university my first year there, but that year changed my life. In that time, she modeled leadership in a way I hadn’t experienced before. And it gave me the confidence to learn and grow as a leader in my own right.

I’m so grateful to have been able to learn from a leader who influenced others in such a positive way. And my hope is that I’ll have the honor of paying it forward to a new generation of women leaders.

What about you?

I’d love to hear from you. Has there been a person in your life who’s made a difference or helped change your life trajectory? How are you paying it forward?

If you’re looking for great nuggets of wisdom to help you on your own journey as a leader, check out Thriving in Leadership – it’s definitely worth the read!

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I’ve had a lot of reasons to think about this quote from Parker Palmer in the last several weeks.

I recently returned home from 3 weeks in Kosovo, and the importance of good leadership has been heavy on my mind.

AMERICAN FLAGS. EVERYWHERE.

American flags seem to be everywhere in Kosovo. We saw this one raised in front of a home in the countryside.

This thought process began during a ride in the countryside with friends. We were driving along and spotted a massive makeshift wooden flagpole flying high above a Kosovar home. What was flapping in the wind?

Not a Kosovar flag.

An American flag.

Normally, you’d think this was a fluke. But I knew it wasn’t. I had been seeing American flags flying everywhere since arriving.

Albanian, Kosovar and American flags sold by a vendor on the street.

On the street and in the market.

Flags flying outside a revolving rooftop restaurant in Peja. L to R: American, EU, Albanian, Kosovar flags

Above restaurants.

Outside of businesses, buildings and hotels.

They even celebrated the Fourth of July with us in their capital city. As an American, I couldn’t help but to feel a tinge of pride. But it felt odd at the same time.

Why was the American flag in so many places?

It’s simple.

We cared enough to project some light onto them during one of their darkest hours. And this is their way of saying thank you.

A BIT OF HISTORY

To really understand this, it’s important to first know a bit of Balkan history as it relates to Kosovo. If you love history, you’ve probably already skipped to the next paragraph.

If you hate it, be patient. I promise it’s worth reading.

• Kosovo is one of the world’s newest countries, becoming independent in 2008 after decades under the former communist Yugoslavia.
• Those years were spent under the dictatorship of Josip Broz Tito. Not long after his death, the nation fell into civil war (you’ll likely remember seeing the atrocities that took place in Balkan countries like Kosovo and Bosnia on television in the 1990s).
• It wasn’t until 1999, when NATO led a bombing campaign to help force Serbian leader Slobodan Milosevic to withdraw from Kosovo, that the country was finally at peace.

Kosovo is a small nation in southeastern Europe that gained its independence in 2008. Nearly 70% of its population is between the ages of 15 and 27,

WHAT DOES ALL OF THIS HISTORY HAVE TO DO WITH LEADERSHIP? 

After our ride in the countryside, I was sitting in my hotel room in Kosovo that night watching recent events in Syria play out on CNN International. And it was all the more poignant because I knew Kosovo had experienced a similar story in the late ‘90s.

Innocent people were being killed. While the world watched.

The difference for Kosovo was the someone DID something.

My point isn’t to get into a political debate. It’s to say that I realized I was in the middle of a culture that was so very grateful for the intervention. It changed their lives. And 13 years later, I was experiencing the effect that a handful of leaders had on an entire nation and its people.

As Palmer says, leaders can cast a light – or a shadow – on those around them.

So when that handful of people got the guts and resolve to do something to help halt genocide in Kosovo, the light shone brilliantly.

Kosovars are extremely grateful for the role Americans played in helping to stop the war in 1999 and for their support of its independence in 2008. This picture of Bill Clinton sits along Bill Clinton Boulevard in the heart of Kosovo’s capital city of Pristina.

And I know the lives of the young leaders we were working with in Kosovo were forever changed (even saved) because of the choice others made to shine a light. A choice that brought a ripple-effect of life, freedom and the opportunity to create a better world for millions of young Kosovars.

HITTING HOME 

So what’s our responsibility? When it comes to leading in our own circles, are there places where we can help cast a light instead of a shadow on those around us?

And the question I want to always ask myself, no matter where I am, is, “What can I do to keep this in mind on a daily basis?” Because I want my actions to help illuminate the lives of others day-in and day-out, allowing them to grow into the people they’re made to be. People who go on and shine their own lights – lights that just might change the world, too.

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